"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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