It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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