What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
