Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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