god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
