i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize