so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
