i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
