Got a toothbrush?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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