she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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