And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
