Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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