You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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