There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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