So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
