Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
