but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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