moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
