Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
