lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
