absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You ruined the universe
Randomize