did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
