how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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