So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I need to wash the frat house off of me
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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