i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
