i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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