Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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