If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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