You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
