Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
