Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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