Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Will exercising make me less horny?
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