how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize