Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
