how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
