He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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