She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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