He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
