I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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