i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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