It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
