her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
