Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
only you would photoshop your dick
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
