She is in my trunk
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
