can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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