ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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