Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
