He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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