Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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