and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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