So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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