I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
