Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
