What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
