Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize