My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
