I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
