While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
