Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
