worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Sext me about skeletons
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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