i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
