I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
