I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
