whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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