This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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