Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
