I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
