fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
