Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
