I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize