I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
