Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Randomize
