Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
