It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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