We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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