I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
