Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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