Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just got carded by a ten year old.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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