you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
