I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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