My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
